Let's Do This!

"Step off the road. Build yourself a brand new path" - Maya Angelou

Stepping off the road is where I find myself these days.

There is considerable trepidation and numerous hesitations.

But on each new road there are new discoveries to be found.

Unconditional Love

To unconditionally love someone is something that just happens.  You don't plan on it and you can't make yourself unconditionally love someone, but you know it when it happens.

Even when your heart is broken and filled with immense sadness, you know deep down, that the depth of your love will never change, it will just take a different shape, a different place inside of you.

A smaller place that won't overwhelm you when dreams of what you thought life would be like try to take root, but in time, these dreams will have a smaller place to haunt, leaving the rest of your spirit whole.

We are what we repeatedly do...

...Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle

I love inspirational quotes.  I feel good when I stumble across one that reaches out to me and pulls at my heart-strings or urges me to think more about worldly affairs, at least for a few seconds.

Then it's back to what I was doing originally, which is what led me to this whisper of inspiration by Aristotle in the first place.  Cruising the web without a real destination.

I begin by visiting my usual haunts, starting with the gossip pages, (TMZ.com - one of these days you're going to get me fired!  Please tone down your site).  If I've putzed around enough and feeling a bit guilty for not working on what I should be, then I go to news.google.com, because that's an intelligent move, right?  Really pinched for validation, then Daily Beast it is.  I always feel smarter for checking out news from across the world.

For a local spin I cruise on over to my local hometown news sites to see where the local drug deals are going down, the domestic disputes, and which public official is once again in hot water.  After that, I tap my fingers on the keyboard, where else can I poke around for absolutely nothing at all.  I know!  Ancestry.com!  Which then leads me to looking up grave sites for long-departed relatives.

So, if indeed we are what we repeatedly do, then I have come to the conclusion that I will not be a writer until I stop being the procrastinator.

Up in the Air

                                                                                                   Up In The Air !

                                                                                Can Remain

                                                              So Much

                                            Is Made,                            

                       a Decision

Even When

 

Priorities

Currently I'm reading, among several other books, "Negotiating Life: Secrets for Everyday Diplomacy and Deal Making", by Jeswald Salacuse.  I learned of this book through Tufts Now, our online magazine.  http://now.tufts.edu/articles/don-t-put-your-dukes

Normally, I don't believe this would have garnered my attention, however, after many job interviews, with zip-zero results, I'm hoping to find some kind of  nugget that brings some clarity as to why I'm unable to move forward in life.  And when I say "life", I mean finally feeling a sense of long-term security, realizing that so much is out of our control, but still, just a sense of inner peace.

The first order of business is to state what my priorities are, so here goes for all the world to see, or at least, the 1 or 2 of you who stumble across my blog.

1) To find peace of mind. See #2 and #3. I'm rather sure that this priority should instead be to "just let go and let God", but so far that's not happening, so I can't afford to sit back and be hopeful that all will somehow magically work itself out without any effort on my part.

2)  For Roger to retire, or at least semi-retire at age 65.  After writing this, I see now that this priority requires sub-priorities which I believe to be:
      - a job for me that provides for us both
      - a very affordable mortgage
      - little ongoing debt obligations, other than car payments and mortgage
      - Roger finds a part-time job that he enjoys!

3)  To be deemed as successful in my work.  Not rule the world, but to be recognized as a valued employee worthy of promoting and entrusting me with grander and broader responsibilities that pave the way for the future.  Yes, even at 53 I still have career aspirations.

4)  To continue saving money, while still having a good time going out and traveling about.

5)  To keep Roger as healthy and worry-free as possible.

6)  To be grateful for all I have in Roger and what we've accomplished as a couple in being together and a life of entrusting one another with our happiness.  Yes, I know this should be #1, however, I'm being completely honest.

7)  To not deny what my gut instinct is telling me, especially when it is clearly saying, "this is NOT a good idea".  I'm not sure that this qualifies as a priority, but instead a goal that I need to shoot for.

Letting Go

Sometimes you have to close your own door,

           quite loudly if necessary,

                          in order for another door 
      
                                           to open and show you the way.

Green. Yellow. Red.

Just 

when 

you're 

raring 

to go 

you

find

yourself

stymied 

by 

outside 

forces.