Just. Be. Still

“Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Deep, dark depression, excessive misery”

This infamous song from the TV show Hee-Haw comes to mind as I think back on the past two years, but only in terms of my “career”. Family and friends are great, but I think everyone has at least one part of their life that just isn’t firing on all pistons.

I’ve always been the little engine that could, never accepting the status quo when it comes to finding opportunities to advance my career.  I’m not talking about smashing through any glass ceilings or sticking my stiletto heels (should I ever wear them) into someone’s forehead behind me on the corporate ladder.  I am talking about completing my undergraduate degree (3.86 GPA – thank you very much) and also keeping my eyes and ears open for opportunities to present themselves. Because of this my career has taken some crazy turns, all for the better.  But alas, my little choo-choo train of momentum has pulled into the station with no signs of leaving any time soon which is very difficult for me to accept.

Unless it’s an all-out party, I don’t like surprises.  Instead I live the Boy Scouts motto of “Be Prepared”. What am I preparing for?  Illness, plain and simple.  Not mine, but Roger’s, so that I know that I did absolutely everything possible to make sure that he has the best care available, as well as money in the bank to fall back on.  And, to still have lots of fun in the meantime. 

So now comes the hard part. 

Being still, in my heart, this is the easiest as my heart knows its time to take a break. Being still in my mind however is the most difficult as it's not in my nature to sit back and let que sera sera rule the day, without feeling like I’ve thrown in the towel and given up. 

 

Of late, life is squarely showing me that it's time to take a moment and look at everything around me right here, right now, and stop trying to incessantly peer around corners and into the future.  No more looking at job boards, masters programs, even housing and medical reports in various parts of the country.  Now is the time to let life happen in whatever form that God has intended.

Just. Be. Still.

 

GLOOM, DESPAIR AND AGONY ON ME

From the TV Show "Hee-Haw" (1969 -1992) 

Buck Owens & Roy Clark

You're a Time Suck

It's time.  It's way past time and as disconcerting as it is, I have to break off our relationship.  You're a time suck, and I am no longer finding any real enjoyment from our interactions, no real sense of accomplishment.  You're there morning, noon and night, yet I feel empty.

We broke up once before, but for some inexplicable reason I let you back in.

I love how I've justified my involvement with you, even the occasional money leaving my bank account in total support of our relationship.  You see, my friends and family, their relationships of folly seem down right silly, and completely inane to me.  After all, they're playing for candy, but me, no, I'm playing to form "words".  Climbing level after level in "Words of Wonder".  No multi-colored tiles for me!  Oh no, just forming words, brilliant 3 - 6 letter words in order to "clear the ink", "clear the tiles" or "drop 7 feathers", all before a bomb bursts, or the time runs out.

But alas, time has run out on us for good.  The dishwasher needs to be emptied, dinner needs to be made, words need to be written.  And I mean words that link together to form actual sentences and thoughts.

So with this, I'm going to my Facebook account and removing you from my profile.  For good this time!  Just you wait and see, really, I mean it this time, after one more round, you're a goner!